Final family email: 8 things that effect us going forward
Fed up, I sent this email to my network, after filing a statement on the Social Security Administration’s website
Hey there! Be out of your hair soon. Hope this email finds you enjoying the fruits of your vaccination but remaining cautious.
This low-odds medical turnaround case study and bizarre legal thriller will now be leaving the confines of email. This last one is written for multiple demographics, like all the family emails, which means not everything will make sense to everyone. I've traded my right to seek damages for the ability to speak freely about my experience, and unfortunately this may have family side effects. Yes, this is kind of like Britney, but even less lawful, with all that entails.
To wrap up, eight things that effect the family going forward:
1. My parents' behavior was tolerated or even rewarded in the family for some time. That's exactly what causes depraved behavior to be normalized and repeated in family systems, and that's the concern here. My mother was able to build sympathy over the years for her "plight of motherhood" narrative within the family, which is how her pathology is known to operate. Some others in the family are naturally receptive to this kind of narrative, they suspended reason, and dehumanized someone with no criminal or arrest record and no involuntary institutionalizations. This being normalized in the family is the most important issue here, and a major motivator for these emails and other efforts. I'm worried about the children in the family, as my mother's serious pathological usage of my health started at age 15, and she garnered some localized approval every step of the way. Please do not repeat this behavior with your children due to confusion; there is real risk of that.
2. My parents retaliated quite strongly to speech in the past, on the books, despite how it was publicized and marketed as assistance within the family. There are a select few people in the family who've supported or assisted in that retaliation over the years. The various rationalizations offered for that have been made irrelevant or incriminating, and that took real effort and stability. My mother has already made a retaliatory accusation in writing, unmindfully, in a situation where good faith was all that was needed to progress with professional help. That's now completely ruled out for safety reasons. This is sociopathic at best and the liability is through the roof for clinical professionals. This has created serious challenges for me that need to be addressed systemically. Going forward, even if the odds are dwindling, please do not support or assist or initiate any potential retaliation, especially lawsuits, counter-allegations, or slanderous soap opera script concoctions, including with my associates. This is awful to have to say, but it's just legal housekeeping that couldn't be avoided, like every other email.
3. There's understanding that a select few may struggle to understand that what's happened is morally wrong; exposing any additional behavior due to that in the present, in order to capture it, is part of the reason for going public. My parents never sought a legal order to cover their actions, and simply forced me to declare myself disabled through financial coercion and intentional harm to health instead. Forcing someone into homelessness and cutting off funds from their own business in order to silence them, destabilize them, and cause harm is not lawful behavior, and they did it repeatedly. Especially when you've made claims that you're acting as that person's mental health guardian to scores of people. They've been unable to do so directly for two years since my credit was restored, despite me speaking out again, and the result is crystal clear. Please don't try to continue their scheme on their behalf as some already have; it's much more difficult now and would require more extreme criminality or indecency.
4. There is intensive preparation for all of the many forms of possible retaliation to going public, and some of those forms are passive. Nothing will be released before the exhaustive due diligence process you've been witnessing part of is completed. Thank you for your role as witness. A lot of what's been done against me tactically comes from the Hollywood sexual assault cover-up playbook. Mixed with the Hollywood "only we can care for this crazy person" financially motivated gaslight conservatorship (but with no legal authorization). Mixed with the depravity of "loving family" small-town reputation assassination techniques. (I do love my whole family, but WTF.) This is extremely weird and toxic soap opera stuff that took a long time to comprehend. That understanding has finally allowed for effective defense from the playbooks, derived from others' experience. Please do not help try to execute any possible future plays, with which they had very specific assistance with in the past.
5. If my parents make restitution to any party, it should probably be the Social Security Administration. There's no time and energy being wasted with concern about monetary damages from small recession-sensitive men's clothing businesses run by people with law degrees and any dependent but highly influential wives. The need is for any unlawful behavior that may exist to be ceased lawfully. The need is for me to be able to complete the Schedule E of my tax return, with capital gains, without fear of unknowingly incriminating myself. The need is to expose a general method of shysterism I've been crushed by, so that the crushing stops permanently. Please do not support shysterism, especially when it's tried to leverage the "mental" and federally administered wings of the healthcare system unlawfully. Exposing it and the method for escaping it is a contribution to public health concerns. These emails are one low-amplitude method of doing that. Please don't retaliate against public health concerns like many deranged and entitled white Americans right now, unless you want to be lumped in with them.
6. What may make that more challenging for some is that careers may be damaged, and not just in the family, which is the chief way you know that progress is being made these days. That could incentivize all sorts of retaliation by a select few people who may continue to find lawfulness elusive, and that costs money to defend from. If you're worried your career may be damaged, retaliation now is what will actually get you in trouble. This has always been about the present, and the legal things that need to be done to be able to speak freely in the present without meeting retaliation. Accountability is not a bad word, and all of our issues can be mitigated by not acting like entitled spite-filled brutes going forward, especially in a dressed-up or melodrama-inspired manner. Trying to turn defamatory gossip into a substantive legal argument is a minimum mid-six-figure affair, depending. Can go much higher. My parents will have to find authoritative sources to dispute me that they didn't finance personally or have their own motivation, which is challenging to say the least. Please don't leverage resources for something so base and indefensible.
7. It was determined clinically ten years ago that my mother is the primary aggressor, but it was unclear how to counter it and shrouded in traditional stigma about what males are allowed to say about their mothers. None of the many women I know with sociopathic, harmful mothers have had quite as much trouble speaking about it as I did. Some of my mother's behavior is referred to clinically as Factitious Disorder By Proxy of Another (previously Munchausen's), and my silence cost me dearly in the past. I don't know if she can be helped, and neither does anyone else. Please try to help her if you want, but under no circumstances enable her, as you would be directly harming her. Please don't harm my mother accidentally if you're not equipped to handle this, and that includes pros who already know they dropped the ball.
8. Family events. I'm not sure what to say, honestly. If I end up fully marginalized from the family that would be hurtful and hard to defend. But, I can't say I blame anybody for not instinctively knowing how to behave now, and just wanting this deep under the rug. Bad apples really do spoil the bunch, so what can you do? I was told a long time ago that strategies like my parents' can end in the complete loss of family, so as sad as that would be, I've had years to prepare. From my perspective, I've been watching a lot of external degeneration over the course of a decade, powerless. Please be well.
There's something critical that must be comprehended here. Much of the gossip, rationale, and documentation that my parents have relied on for the last ten years to operate is incriminating to them when brandished without my silence. That's been the case since the beginning. I let it go for a few years hoping for some way to play ball and change them. That was a colossal mistake that ended in me becoming physically and legally disabled, through a vile and shocking coercion by them. The details of all this that'll continue to emerge are disturbing, at least to fresh eyes, so be forewarned. I've spent two years easing us all into this, including myself, and now the easing is over.
On to other important stuff. I personally believe this original, alternate version that turned into the Beach Boys song "I Know There's An Answer" is better than the one that made it to Pet Sounds. Mike Love wasn't having this version. Just one of those no accounting for taste things, I guess. Can you dig it?